Final Heartbeats
by Clydell Humphries
Summary: Thump, thump, thump... the sound was weak, but it was enough to calm Eric Slingby's nerves. The steady rhythm was the only thing reassuring him that Alan was still there. That his light was still shining, even if it had begun to dim. AlanxEric.


**A/N: I apologize; this isn't the happiest of stories. But it has to be done. I've had the thought in my head much too long, so I've decided to actually write it.**

**I don't own the adorable Alan Humphries, the protective Eric Slingby, or any other characters from Kuroshitsuji :'(**

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><p><em>Thump... thump... thump<em>.

The sound was weak, but it was enough to calm Eric Slingby's nerves... for now, at least. The steady rhythm was the only thing reassuring him that Alan, his dearest friend, was still there with him. That his light was still shining. Even if it had begun to dim, it still hadn't quite extinguished… not just yet.

_Thump... thump... thump_

He sighed, turning over to face Alan once again. He smiled when he saw that he was resting peacefully for the first time in months, however he couldn't quite shake the feeling of pure dread. The last few weeks had been anything but pleasant for both shinigami, as the thorns had been attacking at Alan even more vigorously, sometimes as much as three times a day.

Alan had become noticeably paler, as well as thinner, during the painful process; not that anybody would mention these things too him. But Eric knew that the younger shinigami could tell. He often awoke in the middle of the night to find Alan standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, simply staring at what he had become. Trembling fingers would slowly poke at his cold cheeks, his skinny arms... until Eric heard the soft patter of his tears dropping onto the ground. He would silently arise from his bed, making his way over to Alan and wrapping him arms around him protectively. The two would stand there in silence; words weren't needed.

However, they both knew what the other was thinking; how much time did they have left together?

But as Eric had discovered, the changes in Alan weren't only in appearance. A simple fall of any sort was enough to break one of his bones, and the situation had gotten to the point where he was more fragile than a human. Despite the fast healing being a reaper provided, Alan was still in pain.

No, it was more than that. Terrible agony, one that would never cease, was always with him. A heavy burden to carry in the little time he had left.

Yet he continued to go to the Dispatch, whether he was filling out paperwork or reaping a soul (which he never got errands to do, unsurprisingly). Unbeknownst to him, William had been talking to Eric about the matter.

"Alan Humphries is in no state to be working," he had said solemnly. "_I _for one don't think that anybody in his division will mind the overtime, given the circumstances, if he chooses to leave." Eric had only smiled at him sadly, giving him a look that indicated he'd tried to convince Alan of this many times.

So everyone had been pretending that things were normal for the past week, even with the attacks becoming more and more frequent. Alan spent most of his time while at work in the infirmary, recovering. But it was only yesterday that he had collapsed completely, unable to even _walk_ any longer.

And it was yesterday that William had put his foot down, telling Alan very clearly that he was no longer allowed back at work. He had added quickly that it was only until he got better, but everybody knew that this was it. The end was near for Alan Humphries; once he left the doors of the Dispatch, he wouldn't be coming back.

He was too exhausted and dazed to really let the information sink in, but unfortunately the same could not be said for Eric. He carried him out of the infirmary, unable to hold back the few tears that had begun to fall. Before he'd completely left the building, he turned around to where William was standing, and said in a clear and calm voice,

"I'll be taking some time off from work for a while. I'll make up for the overtime when I return,"

And, with a small, stiff nod from William, he was gone.

When would it be? Another day, another hour? Nobody would be able to tell until it actually _happened_. Eric hadn't been sleeping for days, in fear that Alan would slip away during his rest. He couldn't… _wouldn't_, let that happen. Absent mindedly, he allowed his arms to tighten around the sleeping figure, never wanting him to leave his side.

_Thump, thump, thump._

He could feel the soft heartbeat on his fingers as they rested on Alan's chest, and it seemed to calm his nerves considerably. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to succumb to the fatigue overpowering him.

His dreams were slightly better than the actual reality, but not by much. True, in his dreams Alan was dying. But in this case, he wasn't in any pain. He had a peaceful look on his face, and was smiling. He was talking, and even though Eric couldn't remember what he'd actually said, he knew that Alan was telling him that he was alright, that the pain was gone now. And Eric had believed him, feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted from his chest. At least he wasn't in pain… at least he was _happy_.

A sudden movement from the other brought Eric out of his repose, and he immediately sat up. The smaller one of them was thrashing about frantically, letting out small whimpers as he did. Eric had to prevent more tears; he knew that the dream was too good to be true. Alan was still hurting.

The blonde shook him gently, and two pairs of green eyes opened suddenly to look at him. They were filled with so many emotions; anxiety, sadness, pain... _guilt_, each one shattering Eric's heart.

"Eric..." he murmured, a tear making its way down his face. Small sobs erupted from his chest, causing him to tremble. "E-Eric!"

The shinigami in question embraced the smaller one, rocking him gently. "Shh, Alan… it's okay..."

"Nightmares..." Alan said in a daze, taking in deep breathes. "T-They were awful! I was all alone... you weren't with me, Eric. Y-you'd left me." At this the brunette could talk no more, his throat becoming closed up. He continued to shake in obvious distress, only causing Eric to worry. This could lead to an attack. He thought it unfair that Alan's dreams had been terrible, while his had been blissful.

_Thump, thump, thump._ His heartbeat has increased; not a good sign.

"Alan, I'm not going anywhere," he promised, slowly lowering him down so his head was resting on his lap. "Why would I?"

The younger one nodded, however the shaking continued. "E-Eric," he stammered. "I... I'm sorry. For this… e-everything."

"Don't be stupid. This isn't your fault, Alan," Eric assured him, stroking his hair gently. "I need you to calm down, you're panicking. At his rate you'll have an attack."

Alan nodded, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to concentrate on his breathing. Soon the trembling stopped, and his muscles relaxed. His heartbeat failed to slow its pace, however. As a matter of fact, it was increasing in speed.

Alan seemed unaware of this though. He gave a soft smile, his hand searching around wildly until he found Eric's face. He stroked his cheek, his eyes closing. "Thank you, Eric," he breathed.

The older only smiled, giving Alan a quick kiss on the nose. "Whatever for?"

"Sticking by me... loving me... everything like that," Alan replied, allowed his hand to drop back down, strength faltering. "I don't know what I would have done without you."

Eric smiled, Alan's praise giving him a warm feeling inside. His expression faltered when the true reason for his friend's words sunk in. The way he'd spoken... it was almost as if...

"Alan?" Eric said, louder than he should have. When he got no reply, he shook the one in his arms slightly.

"…yes?" the other replied weakly.

"A-are you feeling ok? Is it another attack?" Eric asked in a panicked voice. Alan shook his head slowly, a somewhat dazed expression on his face.

"No... Eric, I feel fine," he murmured, letting out a content sigh. "E-Eric, the thorns... they're not hurting me anymore. T-They're gone..."

"...Alan..." Eric whispered in disbelief, a feeling of dread upon him. He studied the angelic face, anger and anxiety beginning to form.

Alan couldn't leave him! This couldn't be the end... but was it? Had the thorns really won? Was the reaper really going to _die_?

As Alan's breathing became more shallow, his heart only sped up to the point where the sound was nothing more than a faint humming. The shinigami seemed unaware of this; he seemed so relaxed, so happy... it tore Eric apart.

Still smiling, the brunette used the last of his strength to reach up enough to plant a soft kiss on Eric's lips. Eric wanted nothing more than for the kiss to last just that little longer, however just after Alan collapsed, he let out a small gasp, face twisting in pain for just a moment. Eric's eyes widened when his mind registered that the soft humming in the background had seized.

Alan's heart had stopped beating.

"Eric..." he breathed, hand on his others cheek slipping.

The blonde fought back tears as he watched the pale face say what would surely be his last words. The other saw the world around him darken, everything becoming blurred. Nonetheless, he managed to choke out four more words. "Eric... I l-love you,"

And then, silently, he slipped away.

Eric sat there for a while longer, simply holding the lifeless body in his arms. Tears were rolling down his cheeks; however he barely noticed them, nor the strangled sobs that escaped him.

"A-Alan," he whispered after a few moments had passed. "I-I love you too."

And, just like that, his world was dark once more. The thorns had won, taking his beloved partner as their prize.

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><p><strong>AN: So… I was **_**going**_** to make it that Eric took his own life almost immediately after Alan died (considering that's what's closer to what actually happened), but then I realized that one death was bad enough in this oneshot… I didn't want to make it TOO depressing.**

**~Clide**


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